BaZi Talk™: Taking Control of Your Destiny

I personally find the subject of destiny so fascinating because it inspires and provokes us to examine our place in the world. In a way, the contemplative or philosophical inquiry does help us better understand the dynamics of our personal relationships, the timing of important life events, and the depths of our experiences.

As a professional Feng Shui and BaZi practitioner, I get to meet a lot of people. And in conversations, I have found that people have varying degrees of reaction and sentiment towards the subject of destiny and whether or not they believe in it. Perhaps unsurprisingly, most people fall somewhere in the middle.

Certainly, there are extreme cases of people who believe that certain aspects of their lives are predestined, which fate decided for them at the moment of birth. Some even surrender to this notion without much resistance or giving it a second thought, relinquishing their chance to have some control in the outcome of his or her life.

The other extreme case is with those who believe life happens based solely on the choices that they make regardless of any influence or dictation from outside forces. The terms “I create my own luck” or “master of my destiny” epitomize this ideal.

This vividly stark contrast clearly shows the underlying denominator: control. It’s the human’s desire for control, or the need to feel in control, that defines our relationship to destiny.

Do you believe in destiny? If so, does that mean you have to relinquish some or all sense of control, accepting things as they are? Does this also imply, characteristically speaking, you are more trusting and therefore, the need for control is nil?

But if you don’t believe in destiny, are you portrayed as a control junkie, always needing to be the driver and ahead of the game and outcome?

But really, who’s to say that it has to be one or the other?

In fact, Eastern philosophy is fundamentally rooted in the understanding that a person’s role in this lifetime is a combination of what has already been prescribed (destiny) as well one’s ability to make individual choices for himself (free will and virtues).

It’s like the Yin and Yang image: one exists because of the other, and they are not sharply separated. They are intertwined in every respect. Fate and human choice are just the same. No man can exist without some external energy force that invisibly guides and maneuver. Yet, no man can succeed without taking ownership of his actions and decisions.

When I read people’s BaZi charts, I describe the art of destiny reading as a way of articulating the presentation of opportunities in one’s life. Every opportunity—love, career, health—is like a fork in the road because every moment is a choosing moment. Nobody else can fulfill that task for you or on your behalf. Believe it or not, even non-action is an action.

I’d ask you to reflect on your life’s story as of today. Identify which part of your story line was attributed to your courage alone, what part resulted from pure good luck that came from someone or somewhere, or the combination of both.

Here’s one story I’d like to share: A client of mine was raised in an abusive family where hunger, drug use, and neglect were the norm. This was the circumstance which he was born into and the environment he was brought up to know. As a young boy, he had no control over his surroundings nor had the means to find a way out. He earnestly believed he was destined to a life of crime, struggle, and destitution.

Then, something shifted when he met a police officer. At 12, this was the age when his “luck” turned and his whole world changed, all in perfect, synchronistic, divine timing. The police officer (a Nobleman) appeared before him as an opportunity—his forked road. Clean up or get locked up.

In reflection, he admits that his life is like a two-part series: The first life was destined to feeling pain and a loss of innocence. That was the life he didn’t choose for himself. But the second life was one he later created for himself—the road to freedom, education, virtue, and good deeds.

The policeman was the key, pivotal transformation in his story (and it wouldn’t be his last). It shows that destiny is very much an active influencer, and a fluid one. And his revelation and deep desire to get out and elevate his luck prompted the manifestation of a new destiny.

You hear these stories all the time.

While each of us is born with a specific life purpose (or two), it is up to us whether or not we will say yes to fulfilling it. Just like when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, or what aspects of our life needs more attention.

The truth is that it is up to us to uncover how our existence—and our choices—may shape the image of our own unique path.

Similarly, choosing to consciously say yes to destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality. Ultimately, this can be an empowering and invigorating awareness.

Chinese Astrology or BaZi Destiny Reading is not a dark and mysterious thing. On the contrary, it is knowable and predictable. That’s why the Chinese believe knowing your fate will save you from trying to move down a road that is blocked for you. The energies present at the time of your birth, which are pictured as stars or stems and branches, have a profound impact on you—on all of us.

I love the analogy I once heard about this. Picture yourself hungry and going into a restaurant. You sit down and you notice that some items on the menus are more expensive than others. You can choose anything you want from the menu or you can order something that isn’t on the menu, as long as they have the ingredients in the kitchen. However, once you’re in a particular restaurant, your choices are limited. Like, you can’t order pizza in a Chinese restaurant.

This is destiny. Your birth is like entering a particular restaurant. The menu is your astrological chart. You have choices in your life, but there are limits. Some options cost too much if you’re not willing to work for them, yet are still available on the menu in case you’re highly motivated.

That’s why, whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, an entrepreneur, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is merely the first step. While manifesting your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, there are then the actions that must be taken, the decisions to be made, and the timing that supports it before your destiny can truly happen.

Your fate is in your hands.

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